Tom Cruise Scientology Video - What All That Lingo Means

I'm assuming by now that you're heard about the Tom Cruise Scientology video, and that odds are high that you've seen at least excerpts from it. This means that you've heard Tom Cruise mention such things as "KSW" and those darn "SPs" -- insider lingo, right?

Well, those folks at MTV.COM are so very helpful.

They've posted a nice explanation of the Scientology language used on the video, their "Tom Cruise Scientology Video Glossary," which is entertaining in its own right.

Check it out.

Britney Pregnancy Watch - Maybe I Should Go to Vegas

One day after I posted my prediction that Britney Spears will be pregnant by April 2008, look what shows up in People magazine and over at Fox.com --

photos of Britney shopping for a pregnancy test with her new paparazzi-boyfriend. Woooooooo -- Scarey.

I'm Betting Britney Spears Is Pregnant Before April 2008

Having worked with enough mothers facing termination of their parental rights, which is different and more serious that a custody fight in a divorce case, I have a different take on all the Britney Spears hoopla.

I've seen mothers shave their heads, and all their other body hair. Why? To avoid a hair follicle test which would reveal their alcohol and drug usage over the past 3 months.

I've seen mothers not see their babies for weeks, or months, at a time. It's not a big issue for them, it's a different perspective.

And, no, I can't say that I understand it. And, yes, lots of these women have serious issues - sometimes, it's mental (bipolar disorder, schizophernia, etc.) and sometimes it's physical (alcoholism, drug additions). Sometimes, it's both. Many folk suffering mental illness tend to self-medicate with booze and drugs. There are also the ones who don't fit into these categories, and just aren't fazed by the separation. There's no easy explanation for this category of mom....

Here's the thing: I've seen a lot of these CPS-case mothers simply get pregnant again. Sometimes, it's with the same husband or boyfriend (the lingo is "paramour" in the courtroom), sometimes it's someone new.

And, having watch Britney's behavior - especially over the last few weeks - I'm betting that she will be pregnant very soon. Without a husband this time.

And, I'm betting that California's Department of Child Protective Services will become involved at that juncture ....

Let's see if I'm right.

Tiger Attacks - There's A Lot More Tigers Out There: Is Stupid an Assumption of the Risk?

The Christmas Day tragedy at the San Francisco Zoo is getting curiouser and curiouser: it's now being reported that the father of deceased boy Carlos Sousa, Jr., called one of the two survivors to ask where his son was at a time pretty contemporaneously to the attacks, and they told him that they hadn't seen Carlos. And, they're not being cooperative with authorities. Hmmmm. Wonder why.

Tiger experts are looking at the known actions of Tatiana to report what they reveal - and they are suggesting that something unusual was going on near her confined area. Whether or not that involved taunting the tiger or not, no one is saying. What remains clear is that the area is still an active crime scene.

It's getting to be more and more like an episode of CSI Miami.

Meanwhile, here in Texas, we're maybe a bit more comfortable (jaded? less shocked?) about tigers in the news. For example, just today the dead body of a tiger similar to Tatiana was discovered by the side of IH35 near Dallas. Declawed, with a collar and a bullet to the head.

And, this past July, the San Antonio Zoo had an experienced handler miraculously escape death as another Sumatran tiger mauled him in an non-public area. The zookeeper was pulled from the tiger as the animal was trying to haul him into the cat's lair by his head. (The zookeeper survived.)

But these two stories are just the beginning.

Private Zoos

In 2005, animal rescue authorities estimated that private zoos across the US held as many as 20,000 big cats. Yes, that is 20,000 - while today's news reports are stating that there are less than 1000 Sumatran tigers alive today in captivity.

National Geographic estimates that for every tiger in a zoo, there are ten (10) more in private ownership.

Canned Hunts

Here in Texas, it's known that certain Texas ranches actually buy tigers (and lions and other big cats) just so Big Bwana Wannabes can come down here and go on a "hunt" and shoot the cats down. (Presumably, they are then stuffed and FedEx'd back for the Bwana's Office Ego Wall.)

Here's a synopsis of these Big White Hunters in action, in an article written by Ted Williams for Audubon magazine and quoted by Satya:

“In fact,” writes Williams, “before being ‘harvested,’ African lions raised as pets would amble over and lick your hands.” Williams tells of one hunter who had paid $10,500 to kill a leopard, a cougar and a Bengal Tiger. Unfortunately, Williams continues, “before the tiger left its cage, [the hunter] fainted and had to be taken back to the ranch to be revived.” Williams says that tigers, leopards, cougars and jaguars are often fed chicken to make them less aggressive just before they are to be shot. Some of them become reluctant to leave their cages, so are shot while still in them."

Tigers as Status Symbols

It's also known here in South Texas that owning big cats is a status symbol for those involved in the drug trade. Tigers for pets are common here and in Mexico. I suppose they make good watchdogs, too - if you're involved in illegal activity, having it known that you keep a tiger around might be considered savvy.

Tigers Roaming Wild in Rural Texas

It's also known here in Texas that there are tigers roaming out in the wild. One example: the tiger cub spotted near the Saline River back in 1999. Another: the tiger roaming around Atascosa County (that's next to San Antonio) in 2005. (No news reports that either was caught or killed, or whether that cub had a mother out there with it.)

My Two Cents Worth

Legally, I'm sure that the San Francisco Zoo is going to be sued for the Christmas Day incident - surely there will be a Wrongful Death case brought by the family of Carlos Sousa, and probably personal injury suits by the two surviving brothers. And, even if they did taunt the cat, they'll urge that it doesn't matter: the cat was inherently dangerous, and the Zoo had a black-letter duty to protect the public regardless of the public's culpability.

However, what all these different stories about tigers tells me -- canned hunts, private zoos, pets -- is that humans simply do not respect these preditors for what they are: magnificent beasts designed to kill. And there may be a valid legal defense in that, if those boys did tease Tatiana on that fateful day.

Stupid is stupid, and I'm voting that if that tiger jumped the fence without provocation, then the zoo must pay. However, the right lawyer and the right jury, and those boys jerking around with that beautiful danger, and the zoo just might not be found liable.

Be that unbelievably dumb, and maybe you've assumed the risk.

Did Drew Peterson Read This Forum Post?

Over the weekend, a friend and I were discussing Stacy Peterson's disappearance and how consistently jovial Drew Peterson appears to be. My friend, who practices a lot of criminal law, pointed out that he had an aura of "I know something you don't know," which she had seen in several of her clients, over the years. Usually, they did know something you didn't know, it turned out.

So, what with all this searching going on - by everyone except the Drew Peterson family - I began to wonder how hard it would be to learn about disposing of a body. Other than reading through the murder mystery section of the bookstore, or watching a CSI marathon.

I went to the web this morning, and googled the phrase, "how to get rid of a body," and in the second search result, found this forum entry:

When I took analytic chemistry, my instructor had a bottle of what he called "Jack's Magic Solution" which we used for cleaning the deposited crap out of glass vacuum filters. I believe it was a mixture of sulfuric acid, nitric acid, and potassium permanganate. (I don't know in what molar ratios, sorry murderers) He implied that if one were to dump a body into a plastic barrel and fill it with the stuff, the entire corpse would be able to wash down the gutter in liquid form.

Gave me shivers when I read that mention of a plastic barrel ....