Charlie Sheen Needs to do a Hair Follicle Test. Here's Why.

It's nice to see that Charlie Sheen is gearing up for the lawsuit we all see coming by having Radar Online folk witness his blood and urine drug tests.  They'll be great witnesses at trial to confirm that these tests weren't rigged and that he did, indeed, test and come out clean.

Well, all they can really report is that it was his blood and urine that didn't test positive for drugs at that moment.  

From my years representing kids in the local CPS Court, I know that blood and urine tests aren't that reliable.  There's stuff out there that people know to take that mucks with the results, gives false negatives.  Some drugs just don't stay in the system that long, as well.  There's all sorts of info online telling you how to beat a drug test, it's not some big secret and it doesn't cost a lot, either. 

So before we give Charlie Sheen this big "clean and sober" label, it would be nice to see a negative result from a hair follicle test. 

What's a hair follicle test?  It tests the hair for drugs.  Kinda like the rings in a tree trunk, hair keeps a record going back about 90 days on what the body has injested.  Cocaine and other drugs will leave their record in the hair.  (Which is why many of us thought Brittany Spears shaved her head way back when -- because she was facing a potential hair follicle analysis in the child custody fight.)

Charlie Sheen is telling the media he's "clean and sober." 

Radar Online has published the letter that Charlie Sheen's law firm has sent to CBS and Warner Brothers, claiming that Mr. Sheen is "clean and sober."

Well, offer up that hair follicle test and then I think you can use "clean and sober" with some realistic expectation of acceptance among some of us.  In fact, it's curious by its absence and suggests that anyone who went through the detail of writing that 5 page letter to CBS et al. might have considered the hair follicle analysis and decided against it.   

You know that these potential defendants are wondering how to get a hair follicle test done asap (or they should be).  The sooner the better.  

By the way, I love how this letter concludes with the phrase, "Govern yourselves accordingly."  Read that and chuckled.  Such posturing.  And, after such a nicely written notice letter.  Just hilarious.

I want the tee shirt. I have already started using it with the dogs. "Here's your chew bones.  Govern yourselves accordingly."  Hilarious, hilarious. 

Govern yourselves accordingly, now.